As my father approached death more than a year later, my siblings and I discovered-and-invited hospice to help with this passage. Hospice's common sense, humane approach to dying helped make Dad's final months emotionally and spiritually fulfilling. He died at home among his loved ones, without pain and false hopes.
Approaching retirement in 2003, I was looking to find a way to serve and continue to learn. Throughout my career, I'd been involved with many voluntary organizations dedicated to doing good works, but mostly the activities were a step or two removed from the direct engagement with the folks they intended to assist. I'd had enough of serving on Boards of Directors and raising funds for worthy organizations. What I sought was volunteer service that offers face-to-face interaction with people who might be helped by my participation. I also wanted to become more comfortable dealing with what we often tend to sanitize or deny in our contemporary American culture, such as terminal illness and dying. Hospice was the logical opportunity-of-choice.
Experiences as a volunteer with Blue Ridge Hospice have exceeded my expectations. I've grown-intellectually, emotionally and spiritually-in ways I couldn't have anticipated. I'm learning to truly listen and observe, to see the world as the patient sees it and to resist making judgments; this has helped me to become more humble, reverent and appreciative of the gift of life. Most importantly, I am learning to "be in the moment," something that has been a problem in the past. I've often avoided intimacy and finding meaning by daydreaming about the future or nostalgically reflecting on the past. My patients are teaching me to engage more fully in the here and now. I just hope and pray that these patients are receiving some benefits from their relationships with me!
Oakley Winters
December 22, 2006
'Angels on our Shoulders' - The Warren Sentinel
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